the desire map…
core desired feelings…
where to start?
this post is one i have been wanting to write for a month or so now. but i keep putting it off ~ because i am not quite sure how to put all the thoughts in my head to words… but here goes… i will try my best!
The Desire Map called to me as soon as i heard about it… living each and every day based off how i desire to feel – yeah baby – bring it on!! who wouldn’t want that?
Take a journey into the things which you are carrying, the known -
not into the unknown – into what you already know:
your pleasures, your delights, your despairs, your sorrows.
Take a journey into that, that is all you have.
but the whole idea was a little scary. i don’t know what i want. how i want to feel. my days are busy and full of so much ‘doing’, that the ‘being’ takes back seat. even the time to sit and work out how i want to ‘be’ seemed impossible to find. i have work to do. a child to care for. a house to clean. clients to please and bills to pay. there is no time! argh ~ time, time time!
that and revealing my true feelings is not something i am always comfortable doing. i struggle with writing and although i have plenty of pretty journals laying around the house, i prefer my thoughts in my head, rather than immortalised on paper. the idea of answering questions and writing the answers down ~ makes me shudder. [side note] you know in magazines where they have those questionnaires ~ answer A if you feel this way, or B or C ~ then you find out the results at the end. i skip ahead to the end and decide which i want to be: A B or C. i hate answering the questions… yes, i am a little crazy!
i was scared, but i brought the desire map package and was committed to following through. i read the book on my iPad, and i listened to the audio copy while i was working on my computer editing photos. the audio copy ~ oh so blissful! i am a little behind the times and have never actually listened to an audio book before. it was fan-freaking-tastic! Danielle’s voice and style of reading is divine… the first time i listened intently and soaked in as much of her words as i possibly could. i have listened about 5 more times since then, just as background while i am working. every now and then something will alert me and i will listen to a particular passage ~ just the exact right sentence heard at the exact right time…
so i read and i listened and the time came for the workbook. eeek ~ the questions and the requisite answers! surprisingly it wasn’t as bad as i thought it would be. some questions in the beginning i skipped ~ i simply didn’t know how to answer them. but as the workbook went on, my excitement grew. this was it, i was doing it, i was writing answers on paper!! at the end i was actually going to have a list of my core desired feelings!!! *excited*
i crave…. sugar, good health, more time, less stress, to be an amazing mum, lots of cuddles and time with Liana… other than time or money, what i want more of is… long and meaningful conversations, ‘i feel great’ days, routine… i need to give myself more permission to be… spontaneous, free, happy, joyful, relaxed… the colour of joy is... red and orange swirled together… if i whisper the word bliss… i feel stillness… i feel vulnerable when... i am the centre of attention…
in crisis… i take a deep breath and keep going… when feeling free and strong i tend to… act spontaneously… if delight were an animal, it would be… a bouncy playful kitten… i am proud of… my beautiful girl and all that i have achieved… my most regular waking thought… i want more sleep, but i am so excited to get up and start the day…
next comes the brainstorming… 5 different areas ~ body and wellness | essence and spirituality | relationships and society | creativity and learning | livelihood and lifestyle
i want to feel…
harmonious, creative, artisitc, blissful, healed, fit, healthy, strong, energetic, comfortable, relaxed, vivacious, grounded, contented, radiant, inspiring, enlightened
and 5 pages more of scribbled words and definitions and ideas and feelings… wow ~ did all that come out of my head?
from there i took a few days break and i came back. to the words that resonated with me the most. the words that were a consistent pattern through all my pages of notes.
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